The intention of starting with enthusiasm and pep with some accidental face plant (literal and figuratively). I have sufficient bruises and scars that I can’t quite explain as that’s the type of clumsy person I am. If I can explain it, be ready for a long tale of self humiliation. I’m sure I’m not the first to start some diary/blog/journal with the goal of keeping myself accountable to pursuit of personal contentment. I thought I had figured out what keeps me balanced and somewhat satisfied with life but doesn’t that sound a bit sad? “somewhat satisfied” is visually like this wispy grey cloud amongst the puffy white cumulus ones. The reach should be better than that right? Then again, oatmeal, as predictable as it is, keeps you regular, functioning and averaging the overall good over a longer period of time versus using up all the good karma in one spastic moment.
Currently as I ascend to middle age status, I assess how comfortable am I in my skin. The reach (or journey to an undefined goal) seems to be a pursuit for stretching towards some ideal balance with room for some indulgence in a bit too much gelato.
A memory of of my recent trip to Venice just flashed across my mind. It is very specific to a Friday mid morning on my way to seeing the Tintoretto pieces. I didn’t know too much about this artist aside from references from a Woody Allen movie with Julia Roberts in it and something about good sfumato–a term I learned long ago in my undergrad art history class. My fellow traveller, Jeff, and I just finished having an espresso break in a cafe right behind the Santa Maria Gloriosa dei Frari. I stood there in the cafe taking in the moment. It was actually almost perfect with the sunlight barely streaming into the cafe, a morning of tranquility of looking at renaissance art and Al Green’s ‘Let’s stay together’ playing in the background. I say ‘almost’ because perfect would be swaying in the moment with someone I loved or in love with and there was no one. I think it’s in those moments that I actually care about being with someone. I am otherwise fairly content on living an independent life surrounded by my loving family and friends. Did I wish my fellow traveller was more than just this guy I barely could stand 10 days ago? Sure I did but reality settled in and we were on our way to seeing some beautiful art. The amazing part of travelling is discovery and if coupled with being fulfilled with seeing something beautiful, it is truly a happy feeling that surpasses any unhappy thought.